The 10 Commandments of Party Giving

Yes.. another in a series of your intrepid innkeeper’s 10 Commandments… Nu, what more appropriate than party giving.

For some of us, the mere thought of entertaining just our nearest and dearest strikes terror in our hearts. For others, a house full of guests is true happiness. As a former caterer, turned innkeeper, I’ve learned that throwing even a big holiday party doesn’t have to be difficult, and can actually be fun — if you follow certain rules. Forthwith : here are our ten commandments for making any party a revelry.

1. Thou Shalt Plan Early
It wouldn’t be a bad idea to start planning your party the moment you finish reading this. Seriously, the more time you have before the Big Day, the more shopping and cooking that you can do well in advance — instead of in a mad rush at the end.

The first step is to create three master lists (guests, menu, shopping) that will help you keep track of everything for the party. Keep the lists in your wallet or date book, so you’ll know exactly what you still need to purchase and how many guests have RSVP’d at all times.

2. Thou Shalt Make Your Guest List and Check it Twice
You might want to call those guests whose presence you consider essential before you even set the date for your party. Inevitably, not everyone you ask will be able to come. But if “it just wouldn’t be the same without them,” make sure they’re free and invite them then and there. Your other guests should be invited as soon as you set the date. Try to give people no less than three weeks’ notice — remember, holiday schedules fill up fast. A good strategy: Invite friends and family by phone, then send ye ol’ email

3. Thou Shalt Plan the Menu
Look over each item on your menu and list everything you’ll need to make it happen. Note each ingredient (including garnishes), then check your pantry and your spice rack. Nothing’s more annoying than thinking “I’m sure I have that” only to find out that you don’t when it’s time to add it to the recipe. Whether you’re planning a brunch, buffet, or a cocktail party,the first order of business, isto determine is the main dish. Jot down a list of recipes you’re confident that you can cook well and that are proven crowd pleasers. Remember, to you it may be the same old lasagna, but to your guests who’ve never had it before… it could be a slice of heaven. If you do want to serve a dish you’ve never cooked before, be sure to test the recipe at least once (twice is even safer) beforehand. That’ll be a major stress reducer.

4. Thou Shalt Shop Smart and Frugal
The sanest way to shop for a party is in stages. Divide your shopping list by store and buy all the nonperishables you need as early as possible. If you’re reading this for the first time… it might be too late for this holiday… but file it away for the next extravaganza.

Consider some alternate resources for what you need. Read the ads in the newspaper to see what’s on sale at the supermarkets in your area. It may be worth the trip to an unfamiliar store to save money on the big-ticket items on your menu, such as fillet of beef, turkey, ham or shrimp. And don’t forget the local beverage warehouse, where soft drinks and beer are often priced substantially below supermarkets.

5. Thou Shalt Set an Eye Catching Table

A beautifully set table can make even plain food look elegant and inviting. And you don’t need to spend a lot of money to do it. Start with a great tablecloth, especially if your dining-room table has seen better days. Tablecloths cover a multitude of sins while adding color, pattern, even drama to your party. If you don’t own the perfect tablecloth, search out thrift shops and antique stores for old linens. Don’t feel limited to standard tablecloths — I’ve seen beautifully patterned sheets called into action.

When it comes to centerpieces, don’t limit your thinking to flowers. Fruits, vegetables, a ball of Christmas balls at the holidays, even toys can add whimsy to your table setting. I remember a gorgeous table set with nothing more than three pineapples that had been spray painted gold, nestled in some evergreens and surrounded by ivory candles. Take a walk through your house and see what’s there. Think outside the box… or rather the table.

6. Thou Shalt Make As Much As You Can As Far Ahead As You Can
Waiting until the last few days before your party to cook everything just doesn’t make sense — especially when, if you examine your menu, you’ll see that much of it can be prepared ahead, frozen and reheated. Just pin up a reminder to yourself so you don’t forget to defrost in time.

7. Thou Shalt Not Drive Yourself Crazy Cleaning
My never to be humble opinion; don’t attempt a top-to-bottom housecleaning before your party. Confine your efforts to the rooms your guests will see and use. And close the doors to the others. Trust me.. been there done that.. and you end out by doing the same dang thing which is necessary by then.. at the end of the soiree.

But there is one place you should spend some time scrubbing: the bathroom. It’s the one room by which your guests will judge the cleanliness of the whole house.

8. Thou Shalt Obey the KISS Principle -Keep Serving Simple
Frankly, the elaborate passing of food, called French service, should be left to the French. Unless you have an army of waiters at your beck and call, self-service rules. For a small number of guests, a good arrangement is to place all the food, buffet-style, on one main table, and designate another table for the bar. However, if you have a bigger soiree, definitely set up several food areas so that everyone doesn’t end up crowded in one spot.

9. Thou Shalt Ask For Help
One word separates the confident host from the person who swears she’ll never entertain again as long as she lives: Help. And the larger your party, the more help you’ll need. Help is on the way. Local colleges and high schools are good sources for inexpensive waiters or even helpers before and after to clean up after the party’s over. We used to put on high ticket soirees and land in way under budget (much to the client’s delight) by enrolling folks you know. Just brainstorm and you’d be surprised how many businesses, and regular folk will be happy to pitch in.

But if you really want to save money, the number one source of your household help should be…your household. As long as they’ve reached coat-carrying age, your children can — and should — pitch in.

10. Thou Shalt Have Fun
The final commandment is both the hardest and the most important thing for a party giver to do. You’ve worked extra hard, you want everything to be perfect and you worry that your guests won’t enjoy themselves if it isn’t. But the truth is that most people are delighted to have someone go to all the trouble it takes to entertain. Your guests will never know that you forgot the cucumbers for the salad or you missed a table runner. Now go have a glass of bubbly