Innkeeping Heloise Style

As an innkeeper,there are those days when . God knows, I need all the domestic wisdom I can get. The contemporary Heloise, the beautiful silver-haired lady most of us recognize from the daily paper and womens’ magazines, is actually the daughter of the original Heloise, who began publishing household hints in 1959. I am sure she was thoroughly delightful. The times must have been insane, as evidenced by the following gems excerpted from her 1961 booklet “Heloise’s Housekeeping Hints,”

Many of these are genuinely helpful and innovative But there’s always a few that, well, I can see where the contributor might have thought—before their second cup of coffee in the morning, or after their second martini in the evening—that it was something the world needed to know. The annotations are mine, but the quoted material is re-published verbatim.

I swear. (I couldnt make this stuff up anyway )

From the preface:

“Take all instructions in your stride. If you have a phobia or allergy…naturally sweep under your bed everyday.”

A phobia of what? Snakes under the bed? Or it’s a general phobia and you need to hide there?

“Keep in mind…the second wife always has a maid!”

Innkeeper’s Note: always be the second wife. But I digress yet again.

“May I remind you once again: that house will be there long after you are dead and buried. Funny, how houses outlive us!”

Ha-ha! Ha. Excuse me while I go sweep under my bed in an act of obsessive-compulsive self-soothing. And then crawl under it.

from “Dig into Closets”:

“Wait until you are mad! This is the best time to clean. You will say to yourself, ‘I have kept this dress for two years thinking that I would remake it, but I am mad today so why not throw it out?’”

Stuff your anger (in paper sacks) to save for cleaning day.

once dug out of closets…”you will have this thought in your mind: ‘Now I am ready in case I get sick or have a party, I will be prepared so that strange people in my kitchen won’t talk about me.’” Sweep for phobias; dust for paranoia.

on Laundry: a favorite topic and ritual here.

“Did you know that table cloths can be bought now in pure dacron?”

Untainted by natural fiber.

The book includes a whole section on Heloise’s innovative, labor-saving alternative to ironing: hanging the laundry on a line, then blasting the wrinkles out with the garden hose and letting it drip dry. It’s unclear to me how this is more efficient than ironing, but she later notes that “A steam iron is worth its weight in gold,” so perhaps hosing is a solution for first wives who’s husbands won’t buy them one. See innkeeper’s note above.

And our Heloise’s hint for what then to do with the hosed, dry laundry:

“Put a sheet on the floor in front of the TV! This is Saturday night and the entire family will be there. Leave the clothes there…Psychologically, all the clothes that they have used during the week will be in front of their noses. Whether they are aware of it or not…they will absorb it. They are proud of that stack of clean clothes.”

If not, next Saturday night, put all the dirty clothes in front of the TV. And the dishes, too. Psychologically, this is bound to have an impact.

But if not,

“A child’s little wagon is a wonderful aid if you have no one to help you.”

from “Paint Your Kitchen:”

“This is best done when your husband is home. Why? If he won’t help you at least he can see how hard you have worked!”

Passive-aggressive tactics are marvelous for producing anger to stuff for future closet cleaning sessions.

on “Cleaning the Bathroom:”

“…but to save money and energy and get the best shine possible use an old washcloth slightly saturated with kerosene…the kerosene odor leaves in a few minutes.”

Best not to do this while smoking.

“Alcohol is cheap, it removes soap film and leaves no water spots. But best of all, it is usually kept in the bathroom cabinet.”

The laundry hamper is also a good place to hide it.

from “Mending Made Easy:”

“THE HOUSES will be here long after we wives are dead. Why kill yourself over them? I can think of lots better ways to die!”

“Have you ever noticed how rested you feel after dinner when the dishes are done? This is the time to do some of your hard, time consuming chores.”

Why, no! I hadn’t! But why waste precious daytime hours on the tough stuff?

“How to Have a Whiter Wash:”"…add your bleach and you detergent to your hot water. If you have Pine Sol in the house, add some of that…Lysol is just as good.”

Lighter fluid, anti-freeze…anything that has a skull and cross bones on the bottle. Just toss it all in. Then,

“Have another cup of coffee, o’ innkeeper and let’s get something done.”

Because everything until now was just a warm-up.

“And this comforting aside:

“And don’t feel bad about not ironing underwear. It is an accepted fact today that not one man in a hundred whose wife has children wears ironed underwear.”

Heloise suggests that if you must, you can remove wrinkles from your husbands boxers with the garden hose set to a light sprinkle. For futher time saving, I suggest you do this while he is wearing them.

In the final section of the book, a miscellany of household hints, Heloise also absolves you from the sin of not making the bed perfectly:”Besides, when a wife pulls down the covers at night, she usually gives the bottom sheet a ‘whack and a brush.’”

You could give your husband the same, while you’re at it.

Before there was Woolite, there was this method of hand washing:Use a toilet plunger to “wash mens socks and all sorts of hand washing in the kitchen sink!”

Do it in the toilet bowl! Let your flush box do the rinsing!

Git ‘r done.

Summer Simply

If it’s Montana in June.. yes count on snow.. methinks I’m in a time warp. Summer does mean lighten up workload and most of all spirit. Ah grasshopper,thirteen ways that reveal that enlightenment is simply lightening up. I think these guys have it nailed.

1. Give more to people than they expect and do it because you want to and like to do it.
2. Never play around with other peoples dreams.
3. Love deeply and passionately, you might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life complete.
4. Dont judge anyone by their relatives.
5. Speak slowly but think fast.
6. If someone asks a question you dont want to answer, smile and ask why they want to know.
7. Remember the biggest love and greatest successes involves the greatest risks.
8. Phone your parents.
9. When you lose - dont lose the lesson.
10. Smile when you answer the telephone, whoever has called will be able to hear you smiling. (special innkeeper’s tip)
11. Open your arms to changes, but don’t let go of your values.
12. Remember sometimes silence is the best answer. - (the old best to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt)
13. Believe in God but always lock your car.,. Pray, there’s an incredible power in prayer

And there’s really nothing simpler than a peanut butter and honey sandwiches (PB&H). Forget about the jelly, it’s better with honey. With peanut butter, I prefer the simple sweetness of honey over fruity jams and jellies. One of my favorite breakfast items is an open-faced peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich, a PBB&H if you will. I found it to be the quintessential perfect “ultra food”… trust me those babies go down well and hit the spot when you’re cruising through the aid station at mile 30.

My Oma used to call it “monkey butter” since I guess that’s what we looked like chomping down on those sammies with thick peanut butter. No monkeying around here..

* peanut butter
* one banana
* honey
* 2 slices of wheat bread
* knife

Simple Directions
First, get out everything that you will need: peanut butter(crunchy or creamy), a ripe banana, the honey bear, a plate, two slices of bread (wheat is best) and a knife.
Put the two slices of bread on the plate. Use a knife to take out some peanut butter and spread it on one side of a piece of bread. Thickly spread the peanut butter to the edges of the piece of bread.
Next, take the honey bear and drizzle honey all over the same side of the piece of bread with the peanut butter on it (you can make fun designs while doing this). Add just enough honey that every bite will have the taste of honey (little over half a tablespoon for one sandwich).
Take the banana and slice in half both ways (one longitudinally and other latitudinally), so that you have four sections about three inches long, each with a flat bottom and a curved top. Place these piece parallel to each other on the same side of the piece of bread with peanut butter and honey on it, so that they cover the surface of the honey.
Next put the second piece of bread on top of the banana to complete the sandwich. Cut the sandwich in half, to make it easier to hold and eat No muss , no fuss.. simplicity and taste at its best

Do I simply hear an amen?

Bag it with Traveling

Whether you’re traveling overseas, or just cross the country… less is more But don’t let me tell you why. Here’s a variety of authors around the web offering sage wisdom on why you should travel with one bag.1. You Can Usually Buy Clothing On The Road

Sharpen your packing skills and save yourself loads of travel stress. Choose light, wrinkle-free fabric clothing. Make sure that some of your clothing does double-duty: a sarong can be used as a skirt and beach cover-up.

Place clothes in a plastic bag and squeeze out excess air. Always pack a swimsuit, and wear layers on the airplane (which saves room in your suitcase). And remember: You can usually buy needed clothing on the road. — from National Geographic Traveler

2. You Will Conquer Your Fear Of The Unknown

People overpack because of timidity and fear of the unknown, both largely results of inexperience. Pack your chosen bag with the items you plan to take. Put on the shoes you plan to wear.

Then take a one-hour walk around town, ideally including an ample assortment of stairs, poor walking surfaces, and the like. Stop for brief rests as necessary, but don’t spend the hour in a café! If you’re still happy at the end of your excursion, make your travel reservations. — from OneBag.com

3. All Your Luggage Is Carry-on

When your luggage is carry-on you won’t lose your luggage, you bag doesn’t get thrown, dropped or otherwise abused, and if you have a tight connection you know your bag will be with you, wherever you end up. If you really need to change your clothing (or get something out of your bag) you can. You will spend less time fighting with your bags, have less to keep track of, and less to worry about losing. — from Verber.com

4. You Can Discover What Is Truly Essential

Packing light offers less tangible but very real benefits. It’s a chance to pare down and simplify our lives, to discover what is truly essential and what is not. It’s a reminder that we’re more than the sum of our possessions. There’s really no difference between packing for a week and packing for a month or longer. — from San Francisco Chronicle

5. You Don’t Have To Worry About Lost Luggage

In this age of airline fare wars, globalization, and the euro, traveling across multiple borders is increasingly common. Combined with the horror stories of lost luggage that never made it to the baggage claim, the option of traveling with just one bag is becoming more and more attractive.

Unless your trip is highly specialized or requires carrying certain items, it is possible to travel and even live indefinitely out of one bag. — from WikiHow

6. Your Transportation Options Are Flexible

Transportation becomes simpler because you don’t have to find someone who can transport a number of large bags. For example, some remote towns use motorcycles as taxis. Imagine trying to hold onto a number of huge bags on the back of a motorcycle.

Remember the traveler’s motto: It’s better to bring half of what you think you need, and twice as much money. — from Verber.com

7. Because Rick Steves Says So

You’ll never meet a traveler who, after five trips, brags, “Every year I pack heavier.” The measure of a good traveler is how light she travels. You can’t travel heavy, happy, and cheap. Pick two. — from Transitions Abroad

Going Green to Save Green

Your intrepid innkeeper continues in her ongoing quest of the greening of Montana , with yet more ideas to let our natural environment help you go green and save green as well. Being a city girl gone country.. lotsa these were totally new and foreign but have become a way of life.

Food and Food Waste

1. Plastic water bottles create small-scale environmental disasters. American demands for plastic water bottles requires the use of more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually, enough to fuel approximately 100,000 U.S. cars for a year. Use filtered tap water in a reusable bottle, and you’ll save money as well as show the world that you’re green. Switch to a glass container at home or in the office, stainless steel when in the great outdoors.
2. Move away from plastic food storage containers. The problem with plastics is dependency on this non-biodegradable material despite its possible toxicity. Save money and protect your health and the environment when you purchase foods in glass containers and then reuse those containers for food storage (but not in the freezer!).
   
3. Discover the joys of composting. Even if you live in an apartment, you might find a ways to use food waste as compost in a personal or community garden. But you might need to learn how to compost first. Go to American Community Garden to find or to create a community compost project. You can learn about how to conduct group efforts from sites like that one, but don’t expect to make a living from a small compost project. Instead, you can enjoy the organic local veggies for health benefits.

The whole composting process can be as easy or as complicated as you care to make it. But whether you buy your compost bins or make them yourself (out of anything from wood to chicken wire), I do suggest that you start with at least two. That way you will be able to stop adding to one, giving it a chance to fully break down while you fill the second bin. No yard? No problem. There are even “kitchen composters” available, complete with squiggly little worms that hasten the breakdown process. Your potted plants will love you for the effort. You can even water them with compost tea.
Here are a few handy links to get you started turning your trash into treasure:

A Complete Guide To Composting
What Kinds Of Things Can I Compost?
Planet Natural’s Composting Tips & Supplies
Composters.com

4. Learn to love worms. Another “in” food waste management program involves worms, or vermiculture, even in urban areas. But, go small before you decide that this is the green money-saving and moneymaking project for you (yes, you can sell your worms, and prices vary by area and weight). Two warnings about vermiculture: 1) The worms are noisy, so keep them in a place where the noise won’t creep you out (from personal experience);

Water

1. Water conservation . Yes, water is a renewable resource, but its access seems to be both unpredictable and arbitrary. Learn more about the international water crisis so that you can relate the world situation to your local access.
2. Then, learn about your local watershed through adoption. The EPA invites you to adopt your local watershed. Through this effort, EPA challenges citizens and organizations to protect and restore water resources at a local level. You will become more aware of what you can do to conserve water and cash, like…
3. Wash clothes only when you have a full load. Two socks or a full load require the same amount of energy to wash. You’ll save money on your water bill when you wash clothes less often. Can you say “Frontier House” ?
4. Use cold water whenever possible. Home laundering accounts for up to 36 percent of total household hot water

And last but not last, sometimes, with a little bargain hunting, organic is not only the more healthy option but the cheaper one as well.
Many grocery stores offer online versions of their weekly fliers. As the larger stores work to compete with smaller specialty organic grocers, you may find quite a few organic items on sale. In addition, an online service called Mambo Sprouts can send coupons for organic products directly to your inbox. That was the city girl coming out in me “suggestion”.

Trot on friends, trot on.

A Housewife on Steroids

Or a day in the life of an innkeeper.

Forget what you saw on Newhart, that ’80s sitcom about an innkeeper who seems to spend most of the day lounging. Dan and I have found our complementary strengths, so we wear all the hats”. Still you’res on the go 12 hours a day and is lucky to get six hours of sleep a night.

I’ve found the key to productivity for me… is the more i do , the more I do… Have a plan and then it’s go with the flow chart time

First Up: Perfunctory run with Manker.. .we both need to get out… get the horses in for their morning breakfast.. .thisis a bed and breakfast after all.

Second up: fixing the washer.

Dan and I (OK, Dan alone, with me watching) take the machine apart and discover the culprit: a ripped hose. We’ll need a replacement, and soon Dan races north to the closest store that has one — 20 miles away.

I’m left behind to arrange fresh flowers for the dining room. Already, I’m falling behind on the day’s chores. By now, I should have prepared registration cards for check-ins. And at some point I must get into the kitchen for the weekly menu “fire up the ovens” routine. Still waiting for Dan to come back, I instinctively go re-clean the toilets… cathartic.

As an aside, we remodeled the inn, can you say “gutted it and started again” and just before we moved in we had a well known local cleaner come in and give it a top to bottom cleaning. Nothing worse than moving all your belongings into a new home only to have to get into everything and clean it. Best to clean an empty nest. To this day, I owe her a debt of gratitude. Periodically we have some of her staff in here prior to or apres guests for a clean up. “It’s not too bad,” she says when asked what it’s like to work at a bed-and-breakfast. “I guess this is what it’s like to be a housewife.”

A housewife on steroids, maybe. I go over the “game plan” for when each breakfast item needs to go in the oven (critical, , when serving up to 14 people a day). And there’s another chart showing the dietary constraints of each guest. Tomorrow, one guest is a vegetarian. Another doesn’t eat eggs.

Excuse me, just had to take that last phone call; a reservation .. folks coming from Boston .. .via Yellowstone and staying for two nights. Pre-requisite and fun schmoozing and yes… booked. They too are looking to transition their jobs and lifestyle to Montana. I’m telling you this really is the last best place

Guests or no guests, kitchen cleaning is non-ending. You also have to be a part time fix-it type since Murphy tends to rear his head at most inopportune time. Here’s thirteen enlightening cleaning tips

Tip 1: DOOR LOCKS If a room clearly can’t be whipped into shape in 30 days, much less 30 minutes, employ the Locked Door Method of cleaning. Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that you accidentally locked the door and can’t find the key. Of course, the locksmith can’t possibly come until tomorrow. CAUTION: It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom. Time: 2 seconds

Tip 2: DUCT TAPE No home should be without an ample supply. Not only is it handy for plumbing repairs, but it’s a great way to hem drapes, tablecloths, clothes, just about anything. No muss, no fuss. Time: 2-3 minutes

Tip 3: OVENS If you think ovens are just for baking, think again. Ovens represent at least 9 cubic feet of hidden storage space, which means they’re a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight when company’s coming. Time: 2 minutes

Tip 4: CLOTHES DRYERS Like Secret Tip 3, except bigger. CAUTION: Avoid hiding flammable objects here. Time: 2.5 minutes

Tip 5: WASHING MACHINES & FREEZERS Like Secret Tip 4, except even bigger. Time: 3 minutes

Tip 6: DUST RUFFLES No bed should be without one. Devotees of Martha Stewart believe dust ruffles exist to keep dust out from under a bed or to help coordinate the colorful look of a bedroom. The rest of us know a dust ruffle’s highest and best use is to hide whatever you’ve managed to shove under the bed. (Refer to Secret Tips 3, 4, 5.) Time: 4 minutes

Tip 7: DUSTING The 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House method says: Never dust under what you can dust around. Time: 3 minutes

SECRET TIP 8: DISHES Don’t use them. Use plastic or paper plates and you won’t have to. Time: 1 minute

Tip 9: IRONING If an article of clothing doesn’t require a full press and your hair does, a curling iron is the answer. In between curling your hair, use the hot wand to iron minor wrinkles out of your clothes. Yes, it really does work, or so I’m told, by other disciples of the 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House philosophy. Time: 5 minutes (including curling your hair)

Tip 10: VACUUMING Stick to the middle of the room, which is the only place people look. Don’t bother vacuuming under furniture. It takes way too long and no one looks there anyway. Time: 5 minutes, entire house; 2 minutes, living room only

Tip 11: LIGHTING The key here is low, low, and lower. It’s not only romantic, but bad lighting can hide a multitude of dirt. Time: 10 seconds

Tip 12:: BED MAKING Get an old-fashioned waterbed. No one can tell if those things are made up or not, saving you, oh, hundreds of seconds over the course of a lifetime. Time: 0

Tip 13: SHOWERS, TOILETS, AND SINKS Forget one and two. Concentrate on three. Time: 1 minute

There’s a lot more to running an inn than baking muffins, That’s why it’s great to be a husband/wife team where while Dan does alot of cooking I do the housekeeping, bookkeeping, marketing and ranch stuff. (except for the real heavy duty work that needs to get done around a ranch) . except when I’m cleaning.

Trot on friends, trot on.

Nothing Succeeds Like Success

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison

I’ve never met anyone who didn’t want to be successful at something. It’s fair to say we all want to be successful. Here are some tips I’ve learned over the years that have helped me stay on track and move toward my dreams.

1. Do the Right Things Every Day.

The best way to accomplish anything is to put the power of action and time to work for you. Just like interest accruing on an investment, when you invest the right actions on a daily basis, you accomplish your goal much faster.

So, whatever you’re doing, figure out the actions you need to take on a regular basis to accomplish your goals. Then do those every day, every week, every month, whatever it takes to get it done. When we were planning the Bed and Breakfast and the renovation logistics.. came up with a timeline… and stuck to it. Worked on it every day… chiseling away piece by piece.

2. Be Good to Yourself.

Being successful in business, as in life, takes energy and work. And it’s a lot harder when you’re tired, stressed out or otherwise in poor health. So, set yourself up for a win by taking care of yourself. Keep your body and mind well-tuned and in good shape so you have the physical and mental energy to be all that you can be. We’re all different so we all have things that help us stay healthy and balance. Find what works for you and do them on a daily basis. For me a “bad day on the horse is better than no day on him/her”

3. Keep Swinging the bat.

Kirby Puckett who played for the Minnesota Twins was well known for being a consistently good hitter. A reporter once asked him what his secret was. He said it was simple. He swung the bat as often as possible. Every opportunity he got, he’d swing at pitches. He said the more he’d swing, the more he’d hit. Hmmm.. simple really.

The more times you try, the more opportunities you have to succeed. And, the more you do something, the better you get at doing it. So, your success rate will probably increase.

4. Read the Signs.

We all get busy. Our personal and business lives are full to the brim with things to occupy our time and mental space. So, it’s easy to zip through life and miss things.

Like signs.

The world is constantly telling us things. Whether we believe it or are even aware of it, we have signs all around us, guiding us.

I think of the movie, L.A. Story (1991) starring Steve Martin. While trying to find meaning in his life, Steve Martin’s character discovers the highway signs in Los Angeles are sending him messages. (They’re written in plain English so it’s hard to miss them.) In time, he learns to pay attention to his signs and his life becomes more purposeful and less chaotic.

The older I get the more I realize the importance of reading the signs the world gives us. Maybe this is because I’ve gotten better at reading them and I’ve seen the impact on my life.

When several independent things happen in my life that point in the same direction, I take that as a sign. When I try to avoid or ignore something and it keeps coming back, I see that as a sign. When I keep making the same mistake over and over and then someone or something helps me pull my head out of the sand so I see the error of my ways,

I take that as a sign.

The more you learn to read your signs, the better you will be at making the right decisions in your life.

5 Don’t Try to be Perfect.

I’m always amazed at how many of us fall into the perfection trap. We can’t start something until we think we have the whole thing planned out. Or we don’t finish things until they’re done to our level of perfection. I’ve done both, more than I care to admit.

Striving for quality is great. So is meeting standards. But we should never strive so much for perfection that we lose sight of our goal.

Nobody is perfect. Nothing is perfect. It’s simple human arrogance to assume we can achieve perfection. It’s just not possible. So, get over it. Set your standards to a level that is appropriate to your goals and resources. Then git ‘r done

6. Know Thyself and Flow with The Go

You’ll  accomplish more if you use your strengths. Our strengths and our talents make us unique. They give us abilities to do certain things very well. As such, they help define who we are and what we should spend our time doing. if you want to watch G-d laugh, have a plan… Have a plan but you gotta flow with the go… It’s all part of the grander plan ultimately

We will be more successful at things we do well than at things we do not do well. The more we know ourselves, the better we can understand our individual and unique talents. And then you can be like Tiger… get that hole in one. .. keep swinging .

Breakfast is served. Hole in One

It’s basically a slice of the best bread you can find, with a little hole cut out in the middle. A fresh egg is lovingly nestled in the hole and then cooked (either baked or fried) until ready. Serve with bacon and you have the perfect brunch dish So go be like Tiger Woods and enjoy that hole in one.

Adapted from Out to Brunch by Donna Dooher and Claire Stubbs

* 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
* 4 slices sturdy bread, sliced 1-inch thick
* 4 large eggs
* salt and pepper

1. Dscn1946Butter both sides of the bread. Using a 2-inch round cookie cutter, cut out a hole in the centre of each slice of bread. Reserve the cutout pieces of bread.
2. Melt the remaining butter in a skillet and saute the cutout pieces of bread until golden; set aside.
3. Add a bit more butter to the pan if necessary, and lay the bread in the pan. You may have to cook these two at a time so as not to overcrowd your pan. Cook the bread for one minute and then turn. Gently crack an egg into the centre of each slice of bread. Season with salt and pepper.
4. Fry for 2 to 3 minutes or until the bread begins to toast and turn golden on the bottom. Carefully, flip the slices of bread over and fry for another 1 or 2 minutes.
5. Serve with bacon and the fried cutout pieces of bread to dip into the egg yolk.
6. Enjoy!

Note: This recipe serves 4.

Mending Fences.. Not for the Sheepish

Trust me , cheap fences are the most expensive. Lazy farmers build the best fences because they don’t want to have to do it a second time. If you want to save money, drive an old pickup and use the thousands of dollars saved to build good fences. This is especially true on small farms ( 20 acres or thereabouts) because you won’t be running a fence a mile into the sunset and so won’t have a huge outlay for fencing.

When we first moved here … we had to redo the fences long in disrepair. As newbies to these here parts, we pride ourselves on having the new “World and Olympic record” since our sheep arrived about a week earlier than scheduled… But I digress. The search for a cheap fence brought us electric fencing, which has its place in some kinds of pasture farming where the fence needs to be moved frequently for grazing purposes. But please believe me. Your perimeter fences, your boundary fences between you and your neighbors, should be more formidable, not only to keep your livestock in but big dogs out. If you decide to ignore that advice, you will end up spending about as much money for a really reliable electric fence as you would putting up a good, woven wire fence. And your livestock will sooner or later find a way through the electric one, usually when you are 400 miles away on vacation. One cow causing an accident on the road can cost you plenty.

Here’s some imaginative, cheap (in out-of-pocket cost) fence ideas, from my observations and experiences:

a.) Junked school bus bodies, end to end. Ugly as sin, but the buses double as housing for baby pigs, lambs, whatever. Yes, I have seen this done. No, we do not recommend it.

b.) Old railroad ties laid up like a zigzag rail fence. This makes a fairly good cheap fence (also ugly) if you can get the railroad to give you old ties which they perversely will seldom do anymore.

c.) English-type hurdles make a fairly good, short term fence if you own a woodlot. you can make hurdles by splitting five inch or so diameter saplings in two, using the splits like you would boards to nail a gate together. In a farm junk pile, our neighbor found a huge pile of old steel fence posts with the ends rusted off where the posts had spent their first life sticking in the ground. They were still five feet long and driven into the ground two feet left three feet above ground — enough to hold the hurdles up.

d. Shipping pallets make a fair fence. Often you will see huge piles of them racked up outside factories. If you can affect a sweet Mother Teresa air of supplication and approach the factory officials on bended knee, you might be able to get a truck load or more for nothing, if you have the truck. Good for short stretches of fence and they last ten years fairly well. Of course, you’ll need posts or trees to anchor them. The rusted off steel posts mentioned above will keep this kind of fence up too. Sometimes you can find used steel posts at farm sales that sell cheap. Doesn’t seem like anyone knows that even after they rust off at the bottom, there are a zillion uses for what’s left.

e.) If you have your own woodlot, you will be tempted to split logs for rails like Abe Lincoln and make an old-fashioned rail fence Ah the newbie naiveete revealed. After Dan split out about 20 rails, the idea of buying woven wire became overwhelmingly appealing.

f.) Stone walls laid up dry are the best choice of all the “cheap” fences if you have plenty of more or less flat rocks at your beck and call. After you built about 300 feet you will know how to do it and can start over again if you don’t yet have a herniated disc in your back. Considering that a good stone fence will last forever it might be worth it, but you will be 60 years old by the time you finish fencing your farm, and then you will discover that you really don’t want some of the fence where you built it. Too bad.
Hopefully, I have talked you out of trying to save money on fencing. A woven wire livestock fence with a strand of barbed wire on top, if you are contemplating horses or cows, is a good choice. You need the barb on top to keep horses and cows from sticking their necks over the fence for some imagined goody on the other side and weighing it down. A strand of electric fence in place of the barb is better, or electrify the barb. Again, do not try to save money by buying cheap fencing or posts. The top and bottom horizontal wires should be nine gauge and the middle horizontals no smaller than 11 gauge.

With posts of slow-rotting wood like black locust or catalpa, sunk four feet in the ground for corner posts or two and a half for line posts, or the heaviest steel posts for line posts, the fence will last 30 years or more if properly stretched. You can however save money on the posts if you can make friends with someone who works for utility companies. Gives new meaning to “mending fences”. Electric and telephone poles are constantly being replaced, and these used posts, especially the butt ends which have been creosoted, make wonderful corner posts. They split fairly easy to make line posts too. Another way I saved a bunch of money was finding where superhighway fencing was being replaced and putting on my Mother Teresa act. The highway crew practically gave me wire and posts both better than new stuff in farm supply stores.

Git ‘r done

Clean Cleaning Up

In the kitchen, that is. A subject near and dear to your intrepid innkeeper’s heart. thirteen of ‘em

Coffee Stains
To remove a coffee stain from fabric or a rug, try one of these methods:

* Dip a white cloth into a beaten egg yolk and rub the yolk into the stain. Then rinse with clear water.
* Work denatured alcohol into the stain, then rinse with water.
* Apply a solution of 1/2 teaspoon mild detergent in a pint of water. Blot with a white towel. If the stain remains, apply a 50-50 solution of water and white vinegar and blot.

Cleaning Kitchen Countertops
Use a mild dishwashing liquid for plastic lamination and rinse well afterwards to prevent residue from getting on food.

Cleaning Vinyl Floors
Mop with a mild detergent and wait awhile to allow it to penetrate the ground-in dirt. Don’t mix cleaning products like ammonia and bleach. They can be toxic.

Cleaning with Automatic-Dishwasher Detergent.
Automatic-dishwasher detergent works well on refrigerators, stoves, floors, walls and glass.

* Dissolve 1/4 cup in one gallon of very hot water.
* Wipe with a dry cloth afterward.
* Wear rubber gloves and test first to make sure that what you’re cleaning is colorfast.

Glassware
* Use the bartender’s method for speedy stemware washing. Holding the base, pump the glass vigorously in very hot sudsy water, then quickly put it in hot clear water (cooler water may shatter it) Dry upside down on a cotton towel.
* For extra-shiny, streakless glasses, add a little vinegar or borax to the final rinse water.
* If glasses have hard-water stains, rub them with a scouring pad dipped in vinegar.
* Never use hot water, harsh soaps, ammonia or washing soda on silver or gold-rimmed glasses.
* A well-lathered shaving brush cleans deeply etched or hobnailed glass especially well.
* If eggs have dried on your patterned glass tableware, rub off the residue with a slice of lemon.

Storing Leftovers
When storing leftovers in the refrigerator, use old butter tubs and cottage cheese containers. When its time to clean out the refrigerator you can discard the entire container. You won’t have a spilled mess in the garbage can or a sink full of dirty dishes.

Garbage Disposal Tips
* If you’ve ever switched on the garbage disposal instead of the kitchen light, mark the switch with a dab of red nail polish - anything to stop that grating noise.
* If your dishwasher drains through your garbage disposal, switch it on when the hot soapy water is running through is so it gets a good cleaning.

Stainless Steel
To remove water spots on stainless steel, rub area with a clean, soft cloth dampened with white vinegar. Then wipe dry to avoid spots.

Heel Marks
Use a pencil eraser on black heel marks.

Dishwasher Soap Film
Run a cup of white vinegar through the entire dishwashing cycle in an empty dishwasher to remove all soap film.

Refrigerator Odors
* A little vanilla poured on a piece of cotton and placed in the refrigerator will eliminate odors.
* After cleaning the refrigerator add a dash of lemon extract to the rinse water for a fresh scent.

Stuck on Food
For stuck on food on a casserole dish, try adding 2 tablespoons of baking soda and boiling water to cover the stuck on food. Let sit for a while. The dish will be much easier to clean.

Handy Tie
Drop the twist tie in the bottom of any can or basket before you put the liner in. When you’re ready to empty it, the tie is handy.

But if all else fails, keep your sense of humor handy and remember,

§ If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.

§ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

§ Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

§ Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

§ Help Keep the Kitchen Clean - Eat Out

The Big “O”

Aha… now that I got your attention, “O” for organic gardening. organic gardening is the way of growing vegetables and fruits with the use of things only found in nature. We’re blessed with having an onsight greenhouse… so our plethora of fruits and veggies is year round. Do I hear an amen? But for those who dont, you can still go organic in the garden.

1.One can easily make compost from garden and kitchen waste. Though this is a bit more time-consuming than buying prepared chemical pesticides and fertilizers, it certainly helps to put garbage to good use and so saves the environment.

2. Organic farming does not use chemicals that may have an adverse affect on your health. This is especially important when growing vegetables. Chemical companies tell us that the chemicals we use are safe if used according to direction, but research shows that even tiny amounts of poisons absorbed through the skin can cause such things as cancer,

Remember, pesticides contain toxins that have only one purpose - to kill living things.

3. Less harm to the environment. Poisons are often washed into our waterways, causing death to the native fish and polluting their habitat.

4.Organic farming practices help prevent the loss of topsoil through erosion.
The Natural Resource Conservation Service says that an estimated 30 - 32 billion tons of soil erodes from United States farmlands every year.

5. Cost savings. One does not need to buy costly chemical fertilizers and pesticides with organic gardening. Many organic recipes for the control of pest and disease come straight from the kitchen cupboard. Sometimes other plants can be grown as companions to the main crop. An example of this is the marigold, which helps to repel aphids from vegetables.

Mixing 1 tablespoon of liquid dishwashing soap and 1 cup of cooking oil can make a cheap garden pest spray. Put 3 tablespoons of this mixture in 1 quart of water and spray on plants.

6.A simple mulch of pine needles will help to suppress the growth of weeds as well as keeping the moisture in.

7.Organic gardening practices help to keep the environment safe for future generations.
Learning how to grow an organic garden is actually quite easy. The rule number one is use only 100% organic products those are free from chemicals and pesticides. First step is testing the soil to determine the properties of the soil you have. You need to find the best soil possible to plant your garden. Take a sample of the soil where you intend to have your organic garden. The sample could be sent to a lab where all of the different substances in soil are analyzed and checked. Depending on the results, you can make necessary improvements to the soil for you organic garden. The next step in learning how to grow an organic garden is, finding the right seeds. There are many outlets offering all kinds of seeds where you can find the exact seeds you are looking for. Well, it is entirely up to you to choose the right type of garden to plant.
Maintaining the garden regularly is vital to achieve best results. Learning how to do it systematically and grow an organic garden is equally important. Dig Organic Gardening to learn A – Z of organic gardening

Five Easy Pieces - Gardening Equipment you Just Must Have

Gardening is fun and rewarding and may be considered a hobby, talent or both and sometimes it ’s just luck. Gardening is not as easy as it looks and involves dedication, time and consistency and many trials and errors. There are many aspects to maintaining a healthy garden, but some aspects are more important than others. An individual who likes to garden can have the knowledge to produce the best garden in the world, but without the right equipment and materials it just wouldn’t be possible.

Below you will find a list of the top 5 pieces of equipment which gardeners simply cannot live without:

1. Trowel. A trowel is a shovel-like piece of equipment which is used to dig up dirt and set small plants. There are many styles to choose from and type of handle on your trowel will determine how well it works. Easy grip, non-slide and non-slip grips are the best form of handle to choose. These will be easier to use and will require less work than any other form of trowel.

A trowel with no grip will be difficult to use and could end up ruining your garden. Try one out in your hand first to ensure it feels comfortable. There ’s nothing like having your hand cramp or the trowel slip while using it to dig in a beautiful, new plant.

2. Pitchfork. A pitchfork is a gardening tool which has 2-6 prongs and a long handle. The sizes of pitchforks vary, depending on what they are being used for. The space between each prong varies as well. Pitchforks are used to separate, lift and throw loose pieces of material such as dirt and leaves. - Conjures pictures of “Green Acres”.

3. Spade. A gardening spade has a long, thick handle and a heavy flat blade. This tool is used to dig up and move pieces of dirt from one place to another. It can also be used to pack down dirt once the flower has been planted.

4. Pruning Shears. Pruning shears are tools which have a long handles and blades. This type of gardening equipment is used to allow gardeners to precisely prune rose bushes and other plants and unruly vines, etc. It can also be used to cut the grass at the edges of walkways and garden beds, in those hard to reach places. It is also used to trim the edges and remove dead leaves or wood on flowers.

There is no other piece of gardening equipment which can do the same job as pruning shears. Without the use of this piece of equipment, your garden will end up looking messy and disorganized. Always, always, always invest in good quality pruning shears. Good ones have a lifetime guarantee and low-end ones will make shrapnel of your heritage rose.

5. Wheelbarrow. A wheelbarrow is one of the larger pieces of garden equipment. It is a cart with a handle and at least one wheel which is designed for easy transportation of materials from one place to another. Purchasing a wheelbarrow will save you a lot of time and effort, especially if you are off to the compost heap Another option is the 4-wheeled gardening cart.

Get diggin’

Friday Frenzies in Fish Creek

Friday’s are shaping up to be a fun type frenzy here. I guess it’s all how I hold it.. some days it’s easier. Here’s how I got there.

Besides, Shabbat, Fridays invevitably mean last minute cleaning for weekend guests… amen another full house of shooting clinic guests with final menu selections and preparation. Add that to the other ranching type chores, horsekeeping and it’s a gig. But I wouldnt have it any other way.

Even the most accomplished and well organized cooks sometimes go to the cupboard and find that whatever they needed desperately and immediately is not there. Some of us live close to a grocery store and we can nip out, whilst for others it can be quite a challenge. Below are a few very common ingredients for which there are substitutes.

Some of the most commonly used ingredients have very simple substitutions available when you are in a bind. One teaspoon of baking powder can be replaced by 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda plus 5/8 teaspoon cream of tartar or 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda plus 1/2 cup of buttermilk. One cup of butter can be substituted with 7/8 cup of shortening or 1 cup of margarine. Oil is not an exact substitute for butter especially if butter is needed in baking products.

It’s difficult to always stock all types of sugar but there are alternatives that you can choose from. for one cup of light brown sugar, use one cup of white sugar and one teaspoon of molasses and for one cup of dark sugar use one cup of white sugar and one tablespoon of molasses. Instead of one cup of white sugar you could either use one and three quarters of a cup of powdered (confectioners’) sugar or one cup of packed brown sugar. If you need a sweet liquid like corn syrup you could use one cup of sugar plus a quarter of a cup of liquid or honey.

If you need chocolate you’ll find that one ounce of is the same as three tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa and one tablespoon of fat. Instead of one tablespoon of cornstarch you could use two tablespoons of flour; instead of one tablespoon of flour (for thickening) try half a tablespoon of cornstarch; and instead of one cup sifted flour (for cooking) you could be really radical and try one and a half cups of bread crumbs or one cup of rolled oats. Lastly, instead of one cup of shortening you could use one cup and two tablespoons of butter or margarine.

And while I remember Macy’s more fondly for it’s annual thanksgiving day parade that we ‘d watch as the aromas of turkey cooking filled the house, they also have Tools of the Trade

Remember that some of the best recipes around have been ‘cooked’ up by people desperately trying to cover their tracks; so the advice would be ‘be bold, be daring, but use your initiative!’

We bake whole wheat banana walnut bread and store it in our freezer. We use butter, not shortening, for better taste. Use small loaf pans, not the mini single-serve size, but not the large loaf size. When a friend comes by, I take a loaf from our freezer just for them. Because it’s a small loaf, we don’t feel obligated to eat like pigs and I don’t have half a loaf going stale.

An speaking of pigs… a little shabbat rules here.
1. Pork is forbidden, but a pig in a blanket makes a nice hors d’oeuvre.
2. One mitzvah can change the world; two will just make you tired.
3. Never leave a restaurant empty-handed.
4. The important Jewish holidays are the ones on which alternate-side-of-the-street parking is suspended.
5 A bad matzoh ball makes a good paperweight. and of course
6. No meal is complete without leftovers.

Shabbat Shalom friends